Help is like a Two Sided Sword
Have you ever noticed that most knifes only cut on one side. That kind of implies that half of the knife is not available for anything. That’s kind of the way things should be between the older family members and those they helped to bring into the world. Being a parent is probably the hardest thing to stop doing. And you must learn to stop. Because if you don’t stop parenting your off spring will not learn how to live their lives and be good parents to your grand children. And so the journey goes. First you learn how to parent then you parent.
Bit Your Tongue
After you have walked thru the fire of hot stones you must now sit and quietly bite your tongue. The biting is required so that you will remember your new part and learn to let experience fill the gap you have created by moving away from be a parent. No you will never break the tie between you and your children but you will severely loosen it if you make the fatal mistake and try to recreate your previous position of parenting to your children. To do this will create a barrier between your children and you. It will be a fatal mistake that you may never recover from. Learning and living is an individual thing, each of us must learn the path that we want to travel and that’s what makes the world such a wonderful place to live in. Were all different and that’s the understanding parents must learn and understand if the wish to play a loving part in lives of their children and grand children and etc.
Grand Parents & Parents aren't the Same
My wife and I are both first and second time married people. We see the folly of thinking that we know everything and have learned the need to bite our tongues until the urge to voice our opinion passes and we regain the status of the part we want to play. Oh don’t get us wrong we could be very helpful in many ways to our children but if we should make that phone call the message we convey would be directed to voice mail and the then deleted later when the message is reviewed.
Sharing knowledge Only Works When Someone is Listening
My Father once told me that guessing a person’s age, weight, religion and political persuasion is a journey fraught with danger. I think maybe adding to this being a parent after your tenure would also be appropriate.
Stop Being What You Aren't
So let your retirement years be filled with the laughter of those around you and always remember parenting is left to the parents and your not one anymore. That’s how I feel and I’m sticking to it.
This article was written by my late Father. We were working on this retirement site together before he was hit by a drunk driver and later died of his injuries.
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